The mind is a wild thing.
The first paragraph of the Yoga Sutras says: “Yoga is the settling of the mind into silence. When the mind has settled, we are established in our essential nature, which is unbounded consciousness. Our essential nature is usually overshadowed by the activity of the mind.” (translation by Alistair Shearer)
I was not drawn to yoga as a physical exercise. I was drawn to yoga after reading philosophies that referred to yoga as a tool for meditation, to gain clarity, peace, wisdom, awareness and enlightenment.
Yoga connected me to ME and has become a deeply rooted practice of awareness.
I am aware of the waves of my mind, and how easily I am moved into tangents of change. In the past I have been eager to go with the flow of these waves, and be washed away to new shores and adventures. It was a gift to be able to go with the flow, to be unattached and free.
Today I am challenging this gift, and choosing to stay grounded and OBSERVE my thoughts and feelings before taking any action. Today I feel challenged by my thoughts, that lead to feelings, that lead to actions that may not be wise choices. I am choosing to wait, to breathe, to allow my dreams to transform in a way that is true to my soul as well as safe for myself and my son.
No more risk taking, no more acting on impulse, no more detachment from worldly possessions.
WHEN TOO MANY WORLDS COLLIDE
Truly I believe we all have a place and a purpose. Lessons we can learn from, or suffer from, and use to help ourselves and others evolve. Life is full of challenges, full of hurt and pain and a whole whack of nasty stuff that can hold us back, torment us and destroy us. It transforms us for better or worse.
At some point we get to choose. At some point, as we grow up and mature, we start to question life. At some point, we have an opportunity to take control of ourselves. We will never really have control over anything but our own thoughts, emotions and life. We may influence the world around us, but we cannot change others who are unwilling to make that choice for themselves. When we make that choice, that is the true path of yoga. You become the warrior of your own soul.
I am a sensitive soul that is easily overwhelmed by the world around me. It is hard for me to disconnect at times from the flow of oneness I experience with the energies at work in the universe.
I believe we all experience this on some level. We are all connected, whether we feel it or not. We all become who we are because of the influence of our parents, our families, our friends, our cultures and our societies. Who would you be otherwise? When you strip away the lies you have grown to believe, who are you?
I don’t care if you ever step foot on a yoga mat, or advance beyond learning to breathe properly, you are on a path of yoga every day through the thoughts in your mind and actions you take as a result. We are on this path together whether you know it or not.
Today I have had many worlds collide. I am asking myself, who am I? What do I want? When I strip back all these layers of outside influence…
I am free. My mind briefly settles into that silent peace.
And then it asks “So what’s next?”
8 thoughts on “What’s Next?”
You are by far gentler in nature than I am. I like what you wrote, and for the most part, creates this voice inside me: “Listen to her. Listen to Jenni!”
But my nature likes risks and acting on impulse. I do stay sensitive to those around me. But I follow my heart and my instinct. I find that when I tarry too long, then the mind takes over. Balance is what I need.
I’m confused though on the last few words from that sentence…
“… no more detachment from worldly possessions.”
Shouldn’t we be detached from them?
Yes that last sentence is confusing; in the sutras and many spiritual philosophies detachment is the goal… in my case detachment is easy. My life challenge is to ground, and in my individual case it is time for me to start attaching to things (food, shelter, income, etc.) for the basic needs of myself and son. Like you, I can be very impulsive and have spent most of my life taking risks in order for my business to grow, succeed, and ultimately crumble again, and I have thrived on this intuitive way of living. What I came to realize yesterday is how quickly my thoughts and goals can change as a result of influence around me, and I sense I am being guided in a new direction again that ‘realistically’ makes no sense for us right now. So that is why I am choosing to be extra aware and conscious right now of the choices I make as they change the whole course of direction that I have been taking. In the past, I never would have waited, I would have acted on the impulse within me. I now know what I want can be achieved without sacrificing what I have already created. That may sound more confusing, sorry!
When you say ‘balance’ I believe that is what I am finally beginning to achieve!
I couldn’t reply from your bottom reply. Lol!
The whole day I was wrapping my head around what you said. And now that it’s night time (yes, my head can sometimes be slooowww), what you were saying is that you gave up on important stuff, sacrificed them, to achieve your goal. While it seems there is nothing wrong with how I said that, but your words – “of myself and son”… my eyes welled up. Sometimes we get so carried away in pursuing a dream that what we only need to remember is to follow the path, never chasing after the dream. Because really, the path takes us to that dream. The path is literally how we make things happen.
From your blogs here, I know you went through rough patches. And you needed a relief from all of it, hence, going after your dream, your goal. The rush can take its toll. We feel tired. There’s nothing wrong in slowing down. We keep ourselves grounded in this stillness and things will fall into place when the time comes. We hear more when it’s silent. Then we listen.
Stay strong, sweets. Hug your li’l boy for me. Namaste. =)
How strange is that? The reply got posted after your reply. But when I was typing it, like this one, it’s in between.
Don’t mind my silliness here. I get caught up with nonsense. 😉
These reply boxes are strange… but i wanted to say thank you for your comments, you are very kind! Peace to you and our wild journeys through life 😉