“A whole gender? That doesn’t seem trivial at all!” Hey, arbitrary person. First of all, thanks for reading this. Really means a lot. Second of all, prepare to be amazed. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and I think I’m ready to try to dehumanize half of the world’s population. If you feel like an insentient styrofoam peanut after reading this, good because I will too. Let’s be friends.

DISCLAIMER: Many male trivialities are also applicable to non-males. Be fair.

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: This post contains partially hurtful gender stereotypes. Be fair, still.

Let’s say I live 80 years, from 1989 to 2069 (hehe). There were about 3 billion men on the planet when I was born, and about 65 million born each year until the year I die, for a grand total of 8.25 billion bros that will exist during my lifetime. You meet 100,000 people during…